Clarke Announces New University Mascot

 Clarke University is thrilled to introduce their new mascot, Asher, the Labrador Retriever. He will take over all athletic and school pride activities beginning Wednesday, April 1.  

The two-year-old labrador retriever mix has been a popular fixture on campus since his owner, Yvonne C. Zimmerman, Ph.D. was named Acting President of Clarke University. During one of his early visits to the Kehl Center, Asher wiggled his way into a spare jersey left in the Athletic Training room. When he was found by trainer Tom Foolery, an idea was born.  

“I have never in my life seen an athlete storm the court like Asher,” Tom said. “He’s lightning fast, never takes his eyes off the ball. I knew I had to get him on the roster. He’s learning new tricks all the time for the Cheer and Dance team, which crowds love. He’s a very, very good boy.” 

See Asher in Action on our Instagram page.

Alumni have also come to embrace the new mascot. “Part of me was sad to see Cuttie retired, but my favorite movie of all time is Air Bud,” said Ima Fibore ’01. “When I met Asher, I could see his athleticism, school spirit, and insatiable desire to play fetch offered an energy campus needed. While he hasn’t slam dunked yet, I have high hopes for his future as the Clarke University mascot.”  

Asher is being fitted for gear for all of Clarke’s varsity sports offerings, though at press time he had seemingly buried his lacrosse stick somewhere on the Atrium Lawn. He is also available for public appearances and belly rubs by appointment.  

This is, of course, completely made up for April Fool’s Day. To learn about real events happening at Clarke University, please visit clarke.edu/newsroom.